


That Night

by ElleArcana



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, I just really wanted some angst because I love it, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, hints of sexual stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-10-28 07:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleArcana/pseuds/ElleArcana
Summary: A very angsty story of a flustered and jealous Muriel and a confused apprentice. I keep the details about the apprentice vague so you can imagine your apprentice (or yourself) in the story :)This is the first part so that the angsty end is not final. Also, it's long because I love writing the tension and details of it all! I hope you enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

You sit cross-legged on the pile of furs reading a spellbook. Your hair a messy halo as you keep running frustrated fingers through it. You have the slightest crease in your brow and it’s usually at this point that Muriel would lift you into his lap and ease your mind. This time he sits at the table carving at a new piece of wood. It doesn’t look like any particular shape unless jagged strokes are a shape.

“I’m never going to figure out this spell,” you mutter but feel the slightest lump in your throat. Your frustration grows as the spell eludes you. You want to be able to help Julian at the clinic more, but something has been making even your simplest spells fall flat. You couldn’t even ease a feverish child into a peaceful sleep. You gave him a runnier nose and stomach ache. The flash of anger from his mother still makes you wince.

  
“Maybe you should get some sleep. I’m going to feed the chickens,” Muriel usually is gruff and short with his answers, but it’s clear he’s annoyed with something right now.

“Muriel? Are you 0kay?” You close your book and set it aside. You know you’ve been reading all evening and hardly paid him attention.

  
“Yeah. Just feeding the chickens,” He finishes slipping on his cloak. He still won’t really look at you, and you go to follow him.

“Can I come too?”

  
“Why don’t you nap? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  
“I just thought it’d be nice to get fresh air. See if Franny laid eggs yet,” you slip your own cloak on.

  
“No, she didn’t. I checked earlier,” he doesn’t wait for you to catch up to him.

  
“Seriously, Muriel, what’s with the abnormally cold shoulder?”

  
“Nothing. Really.” He throws feed and doesn’t let more words slip between you two.

  
You try for a few light jokes when you both sit for dinner, but he only gives you the smallest chuckle after many failed attempts. He hardly meets your gaze and barely touches the food you made for you both.

  
You replay the last few days over and over for what you may have done to have him acting so off. You made sure to clean up after your own messes, helped with all the chickens, helped with laundry, and heck, even spent all day yesterday picking his favorite berries to make his favorite pastry.

  
He won’t speak to you. No matter how much you ask for some information he only says, “I’m fine.” You start off asking nicely but when he snaps you do too.

  
“I said I was fine, Y/N.” He says with finality, “I’m annoyed by your constant asking.” You feel your pride rear its ugly head. Your sense of home in this hut gone in a second, and you get defensive.

  
“Oh! I’m so sorry to have bothered you with my caring about your obvious annoyance. It’s as if I love you and want to know what has you hating me so much,” you feel an angry tear brim your eye. You give the smallest huff, and the tear slips down your cheek. Inanna plops her head in your lap and you scratch behind her ear staring at the fire. It burns low, and you feel the warmth of this place dwindling with it. Her whimper catches Muriel’s attention and he sighs. He comes to your side on the pile of blankets but you won’t turn to look at him. Despite her loyalties to him, Inanna’s big eyes are narrowed at the big man.

  
He watches another tear roll down your flushed red cheek. He knows you feel embarrassed and he knows you just want answers. He just can’t bring himself to explain it to you.

  
He can’t tell you that he hates seeing you flutter around the yard. He hates watching the sun warm your face in the morning and the slight furrow in your brows because it’s too bright and too early. He hates the way you plop yourself on the most comfortable chair in the hut and twirl your hair at ease. He hates watching you feel so happy with him here because this is the place where he betrayed you most that night.

  
It was after a very rainy week, and a new strain of flu came with it. You were staying late with Julian at the clinic to help. You were going to find ways to make it easier for people, but as the night grew longer, and you weren’t coming home, Muriel’s own thoughts turned on him.

  
He couldn’t get the image of you and the aloof doctor out of his head. Just the thought of you being in that cramped office was enough to make Muriel feel tense. What if Julian was holding you in his lap? What if you were enjoying his company more? You hadn’t cuddled with Muriel for weeks and he was counting. He shook his head because he knew you just both were too hot in this hut. It was just the end of summer and of course, you didn’t want to cuddle into his furnace-like body. Or was that the reason?

  
He pictured you and Julian laughing and dancing in the Rowdy Raven. Your drunken stupor as you both holds each other close. Julian’s hands roaming the curves of your body and gripping you tighter. Even though Muriel trusted you, the nagging in his head was hard to ignore. Frustrated he went to the bar, to see with his own eyes you were not there with Julian. He was going to laugh when he got there, soaked in rain, and not finding you two flirting in the back.

  
It was an easy thing to prove. There it was, the practically empty bar. Only the most dedicated patrons out and drinking in this weather. Was that why you two weren’t there? Maybe you were back at the clinic and that damned doctor was touching that sensitive spot on your neck. He shakes the image from his head once more. He needed to stop this. He was only hurting your relationship.

  
“Hey there, fella,” her voice called his attention. The petite blonde stood at the door. She wasn’t drunk, but he’d seen her before while out with you all. She was Julian’s favorite bar maid. She’d scold Julian for drinking too much and make jokes with you. She was a very nice lady, but he knew she didn’t remember him.

  
“You okay?” She asked taking in his large frame. He wondered why she wasn’t wary of him. Everyone (except you, Asra, and even Julian) were afraid when they “first” met Muriel.

  
“Yeah.” His head dropped and he wiped away rain and tears from his face.

  
“Hey, it’s okay. Do you need help getting home?” She patted his arm. Muriel looked puzzled but was suddenly aware of the fact that he must look lost to others. No one knowing it was emotionally and not geographically. He didn’t explain the difference of it to her. He also didn’t know why he did it, but he led her into the bar. She was obviously drawn in by his strong features. The same thing that drew you in those many months before. She laughed at his gruffness and she paid attention to his own very short stories. Her eyes alight just like yours are when he talks.

  
He saw a dimple under her eye when she smiled. It was just like the one under yours.

  
Both were drunk by the end of the night but she insisted on walking him home. It reminded him of all those times you wouldn’t let him walk home alone. That was until it became your home too.

  
Outside the hut, he stopped her from leaving because what if the rain got harder and the forest is so dangerous?  
He undressed her in your home. He held her sweaty body in your bed. He made sure she was gone before you got home. He realized the mess he had made and he cried while angrily chopping firewood.

  
He carried this weight with him, and he could feel himself pushing you away. He knew you deserved better than what he was giving.

  
“Muriel! I’m talking to you!” Your angry voice snaps him back to this moment and he blushes. He wasn’t listening, but he kneels in front of you, takes your hands in his placing a kiss to each palm, and wipes away your tears.

  
“I’m sorry. I just haven’t been feeling like myself. I’ll tell you more in the morning, but can we sleep for now? I just want to hold you for tonight,” he looks pleadingly at you. You feel his aura twine with yours for the first time in a while and it’s nothing but pain. It overwhelms you and you feel it ache in your chest. You can’t bring yourself to deny him. and find yourself pulling him closer into bed. You take his word that he’ll tell you everything in the morning, and his grip on your frame is tight.

  
You hold each other all night, and when you fall asleep you feel a flicker of guilt between you two. You stare at his sleeping face and let your own eyes flutter shut. You do not know the decision he has made for you both and you do not know why it all makes him feel guilty.

  
When you wake in the morning you feel a slight tickle along your neck. A small grumble leaves your lips, but you only wake up when Muriel lightly nudges you awake.

  
“Hey, do you think you could get more berries for breakfast?” he asks as you stand next to him in the small kitchen.

  
“Um, sure? The blueberries in the garden?”

  
“No, I was thinking blackberries today.”

  
You think it over and he points out that you’d have to go over towards the lake for those. You agree to do it. You tie your cloak around you and before you go Muriel holds you tight to his chest. He kisses the top of your head, your cheek, and finally a long kiss to your lips. It’s sweet and a bit weird because you’re only going to pick some berries. But then you think of the deep pain he was feeling last night and of how you have to hurry so you two can talk.

  
“I’ll be right back,” you muster your warmest smile.

  
“Inanna is out there,” he whispers to you but mostly to himself.

  
With a final wave, you close the door of the hut and walk down the path.

  
You catch glimpses of large muddy footprints and smile. Muriel needs to stop coming out here without shoes.

  
It’s when you pass a small freshly cut stump that you wonder who cut it. You pull your cloak tighter as the fall breeze cools your warm skin. You brush your free hand across a patch of wildflowers, the smell of lavender fills your nose.

  
You’re far down the path when you feel confused. Is this the right path? You’ve used it before when you were… wait what were you doing so far out here? Why are you here now?

  
You can feel a part of your brain aches when you think over what you’re doing. Did Asra send you out here? You know you were sent out here by someone. You were supposed to do something. A blackberry is crushed under your foot as you hurry your walking. You can’t figure out how long, when, or why you’ve been out here. You feel your head and heart aching but panic when a large black wolf emerges from some bushes. It beelines for you and you fall back.

  
Before it can pounce on you, your magic creates a shield. You feel every nerve on alert as the wolf paws at the shield. It’s even bigger this close and you find yourself begging for it to leave you alone. It doesn’t stop but whines when you shout. It licks at the shield but you never let your guard down, not even when it whimpers for your attention. You’re able to stand and walk slowly a few paces away. You’re shivering and blocking the animal from nuzzling into your hand. The huge wolf lets out a pained howl but never leaves your side as you walk. You debate letting the shield down but you also would like to keep your neck clear of sharp teeth.

  
It’s nearly a half-hour when you finally emerge from the forest and the wolf bows its head. It finally leaves your side and you can’t believe the strange creature led you out. You still have no idea why you were in there in the first place and feel frustrated when you reach the shop. There was something you had to do and you can’t remember.  
Asra jumps when you enter the shop.

  
“Y/N! Oh, I wasn’t expecting you,” he still smiles past his shock.

  
“No? Why was I out there again? Did you need something?” You ask still trying to figure out your walk through the forest.

  
“What?” Asra looks just as puzzled. His violet eyes looking you over and widening because there along your neck is an empty necklace. The satchel of myrrh no longer hanging to the end.  
“In the forest? I was there and just. It was so strange. I couldn’t remember how or why I got there? And then there was this wolf!” Asra cuts your story short.

  
“I needed some sage. Fresh. You know what. I’ll go get it. You make yourself comfortable,” he sets down his tea and skirts around you. You try to argue that you can go back but he won’t let you. Before he goes, he hugs you tight and tells you that it’s okay. You find it all a bit dramatic for sage collecting.

  
You wander the shop and house when he’s gone. Asra has spread himself everywhere. It almost seems like he’s the only one living in this place and you laugh at his messiness.

  
The longer you stay here the more you feel lost again. You can’t place the sinking feeling and decide on a bath. It’s when you undress that you find a wood chip stuck to your hair and a small wolf figurine in your clothes pocket.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you can't remember Muriel, and you don't know what he has done, everyone else tries to protect you from the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part and there will be a third. The third part will be the finale! This is a bit of a filler but it really hits home how other characters would interact with MC and Muriel with the given circumstances. The reader/you/your MC are vague here again so go ahead and imagine anyone! :)

“Have you thought this through? Huh? _At all_?... This isn’t fair, Muriel! It won’t work! Y/N will never trust us…_you_ again,” Asra pulls his white hair at the root. He hasn’t stopped pacing since entering the hut. He didn’t knock. No “hey.” No “How’re you?” He didn’t even stop to pick up the chair he knocked over.

He just barged in asking if Y/N lost the myrrh while out and this is all some freak accident. That they just needed to tie a new satchel to you and make sure you were more careful. It wasn’t an accident and Muriel keeps the small satchel close to his heart.

“Y/N won’t know. It’d be some miracle if the spell lifted and people started remembering me again,” Muriel huffs and Inanna trots away when he pats her head. Great. Now she’s mad too.

“Really, Muriel? A miracle? You do realize that myrrh is used in magic?” Asra asks in the most condescending tone, “I can see it now, Y/N making some remedy for some sick child, and the smallest whiff makes pain burst in Y/N’s chest. Memories flooding back. Breathless and confused. A head-splitting-ache as the memories shove themselves back into place. But only until the myrrh is gone. Then Y/N forgets you until the next time it happens. _Over. And. Over_,” Asra points out.

Muriel begins to fidget with the metal cuff around his wrist. Asra noticed him wearing the chains again, and while he felt for his friend, he was also too confused and too angry to ask about them. Muriel's eyes go wide and he wants to run and apologize and let you remember again. He thought that he wouldn’t feel all this regret so soon.

That morning he kissed and held you, only to immediately shut off his feelings. He went back to finishing breakfast, cutting wood, feeding chickens, repairing a weak spot in the hut. He was a hermit. Again. He told himself he would be fine. Again. 

He erased the last 11 months, 16 days, 12 hours, and 20 seconds of your relationship, but at any moment, all that time could come hitting you like a kick to your chest. He could lie to himself, shut himself off, and miss you, but you couldn’t. You’d hurt every time the memory of him pushed itself into your life. He knows Asra is right and he can’t take back what he’s done. None of it. 

“Asra…”

“_What?_ Muriel?” Asra’s angry tone only making him feel worse. Asra had never been this upset with him, and it only made him want to curl into himself more.

“I didn’t mean to do all of this,” Muriel meets Asra’s disappointed gaze. He doesn’t want to lose another person he loves. He _is_ afraid to be alone again, “I thought it would fix it.”

“But you did do it, and now—I don’t know what now,” Asra sits across from him.

“Please? You have to keep Y/N away from anything that’ll bring back memories of me. Promise, me?” Muriel has only ever wanted to protect you from hurt and pain. Admittedly he has taken it too far this time.

“I’ll try my best to keep Y/N safe and happy, but, Muriel, I have to know why? Why have you done this?”

“I—,” he can hardly bring himself to tell the whole story of what has brought you both to this, but with some time he does. He tells Asra everything he can and he answers more of the magician's questions. Muriel gets angry, sad, cries a bit, gets angry again, and then sits resigned in his chair. He clutches the satchel by his heart and sits with that furrow in his brow that you used poke until he smiled at you. Something about your incessant poking made him laugh and made all worries melt away.

Asra can’t make up his mind quite yet. He had always pushed you two together and encouraged your flirting. He had set up your “first date” (took you both to the theater but, “oh no! I forgot I have a reading in thirty minutes! You two go ahead.”) Had he set you both up for this failure? Were you not as in love as he had thought? Was this _his_ fault?

“Why, Muriel?” he asks again. No answer comes for some time, but when it does, it’s silly to Asra.

“Because it’s me or it’s Julian… And when they’re together, I can see the love between them… How much Y/N loves to work with him, and how much he loves to take Y/N along… I can’t give Y/N more than this hut or forest.”

“Did you ever think, for a moment, that this hut, forest, fur bed, Inanna, and you most of all, _were_ enough? That all of this,” Asra gestures wildly at the small home, “is what Y/N wanted and was happy with?”

“How can this be enough?”

Asra shook his head and started to get himself ready to leave. He didn’t have it in him to push Muriel to understand because he was far too disappointed. He thought his friend had gotten better. That he knew everyone loved him and wanted him, most of all, that you loved him always. But Muriel just needed to see it himself, and Asra would give him the time to get it.

“I’ll keep Y/N safe. Just try to understand and try to explain this soon. Let Y/N make this decision too…And, I’m taking sage from your garden,” Asra slammed the hut door.

* * * *

It’s been a week. Julian knows not to mention Muriel to you “or else.” That was

Asra’s threat. He made sure to clear any and all myrrh remnants from your desk, books, tools, and any random pouches. He made sure his own small satchel stayed close to his chest and never let it show. He felt bad about keeping you in the dark, but he felt worse for being a catalyst.

He was surprised the night Muriel and Asra spoke to him at the Rowdy Raven. He knew you always had to drag Muriel there, but Muriel’s extreme uneasiness was at its peak that night. Any time the small blonde barmaid, Carza, approached the table, Muriel would flinch and stare at a lantern. Then the truth came out and Julian was both angry and sad. His knuckles turned white around the glass he was gripping. He wanted to tell Muriel to screw-off, and he wouldn’t keep up this charade. That he would not support this charade. But then he thought of you.

“Y’know, you made yourself paranoid because you thought Y/N and I were what? Too close?”

“Yeah,” Muriel grumbles. He knew he deserved every ounce of anger directed at him. Yet, part of him nagged again, that maybe the doctor was so angry because he loved you. Because he really was as attached as Muriel had worried. Julian picked up on this.

“I love Y/N like I love Portia. Like a sibling. I’d never do anything to hurt either of you…at least not Y/N. Right now I’m not particularly fond of you,” Julian slouched in his chair like a child throwing a tantrum. He shook his head and asked Asra if you were doing okay. He asked if he should let you take time from the clinic or if that would upset you. He chastised himself when Asra reminded him that you had no idea what was happening.

Muriel, even though part of him still felt insecure, as he had for many years, believed Julian for once. Something about the way he wasn’t running to find you, and how he didn’t look at all happy to see you freshly single. The insecure voices in his head could nag all they wanted, but this was reassurance enough that he was oh-so-wrong. That the paranoia could shut up and leave him alone because you had loved him once and he loved you still. 

* * * *

It has been nearly three weeks and it feels almost normal in the shop again. Asra has only had to jump and push myrrh out of your hands once. He said that it was _not_ myrrh but the _deadliest_ extract of bloodroot. He just forgot to change the label. He pocketed the small glass and told you there was a myrrh shortage. None in the kingdom and none for you to use. He was talking fast and really nervous so you let it go. 

“Does Faust want a snack before we go?” You ask Asra in the market. You each had some things to buy and some snacks you were craving.

“_Food?_” The light purple snake suddenly hangs down from a nearby tent and lands on your shoulder. You giggle at her and she eats some of the meat from a stuffed bun in your hand. Asra’s laugh joins yours as Faust does not stop eating your food until there is no meat left.

“I must admit, she may be hungry. I’m afraid her excellent hunting reputation has reached the local mice and they avoid our shop now,” he lays his hand on your shoulder as Faust slithers over to his. She wraps herself like an extra scarf and you smile at their sweetness. You continue your leisurely walk to the market’s exit and every now and then he’ll point out new stands or new foods. You can tell he’s itching to go on another adventure when he points at some new pottery from some far off land; Tehitulá the Vendor calls it.

“You should go,” you nudge him, but he shakes his head. He doesn’t want to leave you alone for now. He says he wants to be here for you. You think it’s his natural air of mystery that makes you feel like there’s something deeper in that statement.

When you’re at the exit of the market a small carved chicken catches your eye. You brush a finger along the smooth wood and ask the vendor the price. They say it’s not theirs and gesture to their metal sculptures. You blush and ask if you can have it but they don’t even care to answer you. Asra gives a small smile to you when he sees it. Upon closer inspection there’s a small engraving:

_Franny -M _

And you imagine a colorful chicken named Franny. She has gorgeous feathers but one missing from her left wing. You think of feeding her and waiting for her eggs to be laid. You argue that they need to hatch and not be used for food. He’d grumble but let you have your way…hold on…he?... _Who is he_? You don’t know but your brain hurts when the image of a large blurred body among a hoard of chickens is filling your head.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Hey! You okay?” Asra holds you close. Your balance and vision are shaking. He can feel your pain as his half of a heart clenches in his chest. You try to push him away but he helps you find your feet again.

“Yeah. Yeah. Just some stuff. My head hurts,” Asra leads you home and holds your hand ever tighter. He seems annoyed and you try to apologize. He laughs it off and says it’s not your fault. You watch him hastily make tea and sit in silence at the kitchen table.

That night you feel Asra shift out of bed, and when he thinks you’re still sleeping he leaves the room. He doesn’t know you can hear them downstairs. You quietly inch your way down and stay just out of sight.

“You need to decide and do it soon. You can’t just drop in when _you_ need it. It hurts Y/N and it isn’t fair,” he’s using his scolding voice and you feel bad for whoever is being reprimanded.

“I know. I’m just—af—afraid,” a deep baritone voice responds. You feel pulled by it and you let your heart guide you one more step down. Your eyes looking just around the corner and landing on a big man. His cloak covers his shirtless body, but it can’t hide some scars across his torso and strong face. A scar traces his cheek and barely misses his very kissable lips. You want to touch him and to soothe the knot in his brows. Never have you seen someone so big yet so small. Sadness, loneliness, pain, and hurt are written across his face. You want to hear his voice again, but you jump when you hear a dog’s yipping and howling instead. Both the man and Asra move to the front door and you quickly make your way up the stairs.

You hear them calming the dog down and you feel disappointed when only Asra comes back to bed. Your back turned and your fake sleep fooling him.

* * * *

It only took you one week of nagging and insisting, but Asra finally agreed to go off on another adventure. You insisted that you would be fine staying home alone and agreed to check in with Portia, Nadia, and Julian regularly. Asra was more anxious about the planned trip, but he thought it would be okay to leave you for just a couple weeks, tops.

He meant it when he said there was a myrrh shortage, but still worried that you would somehow find your way to it. Something in the cards or the atmosphere made him think you and Muriel were not finished yet. That your paths would cross again. He gripped his traveling satchel tighter and felt a knot in his gut. He really should stay, shouldn’t he?

“Y/N…I think—,” he began and let his white hair fall into his eyes. You cut him off before he can finish his sentence. 

“I know that look, and you’re not staying,” you smiled, squeezed his shoulders and guided him to your front door. You insisted he go out, have fun, and bring you back a souvenir. He kissed your forehead, squeezed your hand one last time, and waved to you. Faust slithering up his back, you watched him walk down your street and out on his own adventure.

You stood there for a moment but felt like you weren’t alone this gray and early morning. A slight fog carried in the air, but just across the street, you could see a large figure. A man and he was pretending to look everywhere else but you. You nodded at him and he blushed from his chest to his cheeks. So he was looking, you concluded. You entered your home and didn’t think much of the interaction because you forgot all about him. Again.

Muriel watched after you and fiddled with the small satchel of myrrh in his hand. He debated over and over whether to knock on your door and just let you have at it. Let you remember it all, and be angry and be hurt just because he missed you and needed you to know the truth. He knew he was being so truly unfair to you and he wanted to fix it all. Even if that means that you remember him, you know he exists, and you choose to leave him.

He guarded your home in Asra’s absence, even though he knew you were strong and powerful on your own. He just needed to be close and build up the courage. He needed to see you.

It was one fairly early morning that he watched you go to the market. Your eyes alight with all the treasures before you and you bought a decorative vase perfect for Faust to curl up in. He watched you buy spices from the merchant, but what he didn’t hear, was why you went deeper into the tent.

“Excuse me? You wouldn’t happen to know Asra? The magician?” the merchant asks you.

“Yes, I do. I’m his apprentice,” you smile warmly.

“Ah! So you also must be the notorious magician who works with the just as infamous Doctor Devorak?” the merchant excitedly claps his hands together.

“I didn’t know I was known?” you answer him, and he insists you are too humble. He recalls hearing of your facing off against Lucio, the Devil, and that creepy courtier who talked only of opening people up.

“You know, I have a secret stash of my higher-priced and rarer items in the back. Many of them great for all remedies and spells.” There it is. He was just trying to make a sale. You insist that you’re good on supplies, but he insists harder. So you follow him to the back. You figured you could just look and not buy. That was your plan, but fate had another for you. The merchant shows you a case full of vials of different things. You swear you see the eye of some creature in one bottle. You fiddle with a small box of “magic” beans, but the amber substance at the bottom of the case catches your eye.

“Is that what I think it is?” you reach in.

“Only the purest myrrh. Tapped right from the tree and jarred! It has been quite in demand…would cost a few coins…,” you had to admit that you probably paid far too much for the little jar, but you were ready to finally make the ointment for Nadia’s recent waves of headaches.

It’s when you open the small jar on your walk home that the scent fully hits you. You feel the weight of the world but light as a feather all at once. Your head hurts and you feel yourself stumble. A stranger asks if you’re okay. It feels like a knife is prodding your brain and you can only mumble in response. The image of Muriel holding you close is vibrant. You see him feeding Inanna, lowly singing to himself, blushing when you kiss him, his green eyes were crinkled as he smiles down at you, and finally, a bittersweet kiss as you left to pick berries. You try to catch yourself as you feel your legs go weak, but it’s his strong arms that catch you. You can barely hold your eyes open as months of information and memories are returned to you, and all you can ask is, “Where did you go?” he panics and brushes your hair from your eyes. You won’t stay awake and he apologizes over and over.

He carries you home; the home you made together. He lays you in your bed and sits across the room. He watches the fire and thinks of what he will say. The time has come and you will know soon.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muriel finally tells you the truth, but will it all be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!! Thank you all for reading the first two parts and leaving such awesome and lovely comments!  
I know I took longer to post this, but it's also MUCH longer than the other chapters. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I loved writing this angsty fanfic! 
> 
> I will be taking requests and you can ask for them here or on my Tumblr: ohhmuri!
> 
> Thanks again for reading!

You groan deeply as you stretch your stiff body. The familiar feel of furs under you makes you smile until the burning incense in the air reminds you of how and why you ended up here. Muriel. Your eyes snap open looking for him, but you’re alone in the small hut.

In perfect honesty, you’re pissed and you can’t wait to hear the explanation to all this. You pull your boots on roughly, grip the bottle of myrrh you bought to your chest, and beeline for the hut’s door. The dirt and gravel crunch under your stomping feet. You round the hut and find him feeding some pigs and of course the chickens. The sun has nearly set and a purple sky illuminates the brightest stars.

“What the actual hell, Muriel?” You snap. He jumps at the sound of your anger and turns to you. A chirping chick sits on his shoulder and another is pecking the hand that holds it. Usually, you’d laugh and kiss his cheek thinking he looks cute. But right now the blush across his cheeks is because you stand with hands on your hips and looking angry.

“_Hey_, Y/N… I can explain!” he sets the chicks down and tries to usher you inside. You refuse and hold your ground.

“No. I-I need some space to breathe. I need you to explain why for a month I was living with Asra with no idea of you!”

“I know. I know. I just,” he huffs and his head drops. He keeps wringing his hands and won’t look directly at you. One hand runs through his messy hair and you notice just how different he looks right now.

His usually astonishingly muscular body looks leaner in some places. A faint braid is frizzy and pinned to a tangled mess of hair. He also has dark circles under his eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping and you wonder if it’s because of nightmares, guilt, or his standing guard outside your shop all night. Before you two began dating, he would stand outside all night when Asra was off on adventures. It took many nights to finally coax him indoors.

“I did something really hurtful,” Muriel finally mutters.

“Yeah. I would say so. You _made_ me forget _you_,” you retort.

“I know. There’s that, but, I did something else. _Before_ that,” he lets out a shaky breath, closes his eyes for a moment, and suddenly stands up straighter. He opens his eyes meeting yours, and something in the air makes you mirror his stance. You feel nervous and your palms sweat but you stand tall… at least as tall as you can feel when you stand by him.

“I slept with someone else… I-I…I cheated,” his own voice gives out with that last word as you feel the air go cold suddenly.

You feel a crackle of electricity hit your heart. It feels like a part of your heart just snapped and let Muriel go. You feel yourself stumble slightly, not realizing that you’ve started taking steps away from him because he’s taken more towards you. You feel the same electric shock run up to the top of your head. You feel your hairs stand on end and goosebumps cover your skin. You want to gag out loud but you also want to just go back to sleep and wake up. This has to be a dream surely? This is _your_ Muriel. He wouldn’t do this? Would he?

You cross your arms hoping that you can hold yourself together while everything else crumbles around you. You feel really, _really_ cold. You want to be held but not by him. He takes another step toward you. He’s worried because you look scared. Your eyes roam the forest and you are visibly shaking. He wants to hold you still and maybe that’ll help. You sternly tell him no. He’s surprised by the venom in your voice despite the sadness in your eyes.

That’s when you hear her. Inanna’s happy yelps and whines as she bolts for you from the forest. She bounds towards you and nearly trips on her paw to get to you. You’ve never seen her so excited and she practically knocks you over. You remember all the times Muriel rolled his eyes and smiled when you “baby talked” with her, but you can’t bring words to your lips right now. You only crouch and bring her close to you. You give her the tightest hug and she nuzzles you just as fervently. You hope that if you just ignore Muriel, the pain in your chest will go away too.

“Y/N, we have to talk,” he scratches behind the wolf’s ear and nearly brushes your cheek.

“Oh, I’m allowed to talk about it this time? Or will I wake up alone in the shop in an hour?”

He shuts up after that. He paces his own yard running his hands through his hair and down his face. He hates how right you are and knows it’s going to take so much to ever have your trust again. _If you even want to trust him again_. He doesn’t know how he’s going to explain everything to you when he really messed it up this time. He just panicked. He just did it on impulse. He wanted to run away again right now. You could keep the hut and the myrrh and the wooden figures if that’s what made you happy. He just wanted to run and hide from the panic in your eyes and the anger in your voice.

You notice the way he stares out at the forest and you know he’s about to bolt. When you stand Inanna runs into the hut but you slowly reach out to him. You could really just grit your teeth and never speak to him again, but some lovesick and hopeful part of you can’t stand the thought of him alone. You can’t imagine not having him at all. He betrayed you but you could never imagine hurting _him_.

So yeah, you grip his elbow, and you lead him to the hut. You let his hand find its way to your shoulder and he sits at the small wooden table. You set water to boil and sit opposite him. The fire crackling is the only sound until he breaks it with his deep voice.

“I messed up that night. The night I did things with her. I thought I could forget it and look at you and things would be okay. Like how your smile always makes me happy? But. It didn’t. I just felt worse. I hated seeing you look so happy with me because I knew I wasn’t being good and I wasn’t giving you what you deserved. So I- I made you forget me. I wanted you to just have the life you could and should have if I hadn’t been a part of it and ruined it.”

You’ve made your cups of tea and set one in front of him. He takes it and waits for you to talk.

“Why’d you sleep with her?” You’re still trying to wrap your head around the whole situation and need him to start from the beginning. He winces and grips his own thighs. With a deep breath, he starts describing the night you had stayed late with Julian. Again. He tells you how insecure he was and how much he missed you.

“She reminded me so much of you. Of what it was like to be with you than without.”

“Are you trying to say it happened because I wasn’t there for you?” you ask incredulously. You knew you had been at the clinic with Julian often, but nearly every night you were home with Muriel. You were always there. You always laughed and thought you had always been emotionally supportive too. You listened. You held him and you loved him. You’d helped him come out of his shell more. _Maybe a little too much, now that he apparently hooked a barmaid._ The sarcastic thought makes you cringe.

“No, no, no, no. _No._ That’s not it. I knew you loved me. I promise. I…” he’s gripping your hand across the table. You can see him searching for the right explanation and coming up short. You give him the smallest squeeze and he squeezes back. You need these answers.

“I knew you loved me. I just couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t believe that you loved me more than him. You were always there for me Y/N…it was just when you were gone, that the doubts were winning me over.”

You can’t believe he’s still questioning why you would like or love him. You thought these doubts had been dropped a long time ago. The moment you protected each other from Lucio, and despite the frightening situation, you met his determined eyes. You fought side by side and for each other. You remember the feeling of his relieved hug and strong arms gripping you close. You’d won and you had run to his arms first.

“Muriel. I did love you. I loved everything about you, Inanna, our home here. I wanted those things the most in this world… I wanted you always.”

“I think I knew that somewhere deep inside, but it was hard to accept it. I told him after it happened. Asra and I told him about what I had done. He was so angry.”

“Yeah. Julian is like an oddly protective brother.”

“That’s what he said.”

You both sit in silence not knowing where to go from here. You’re still angry. You hate that his way of dealing with the cheating was to run away, to make you forget, to further destroy your lives because he thought not being a part of yours was better for you.

He explains that it was not well thought out. That he only meant to make everything go back to how it was, before he hurt you, and with that word he grimaces and doesn’t say more.

He’s always been afraid of hurting you. He was always more worried about physically hurting you because of his much larger stature. He slept like a rock to not squish you in bed but held you close on his chest. He got more comfortable with you over time. He’d hold you a little tighter and lift you by surprise. But this was a different kind of hurt.

It’s when you stand to leave for the night that he quickly stops you. He begs you to stay the night because it’s dangerous out there so late. That he’ll sleep outside if you want. He just wants to know you’re safe and he’s so sorry that you don’t feel comfortable in your home. You want to go home. You want to sit in your bathtub and sulk. You want to yell at Julian for helping keep this from you. But you stay because it’s dangerous and that dumb, annoying, wrong, and hopeful part of you, misses Muriel. You take the bed and he sleeps on the floor across the room. 

Muriel sinks into the deepest sleep he’s had for a while. He knows you’re still upset, but he’s relieved that you’re right here, safe, and within reach in case of anything.

You stay awake for a few more hours. You watch his form sink into easy breathing and Inanna rolls up at his feet.

You doze off wishing you were comfortable in his arms, but you’ve made your decision.

* * * *

Like always Muriel is the first awake and he gets to watch the rays of light brighten your face. It feels almost like normal and he gets up to make you breakfast. He tries to be as quiet as possible. He lets Inanna out before she has the chance to whine. He delicately cracks eggs and sets the pan down gingerly.

“Y/N, I made food,” You wake up to his gentle nudging but still try falling back to sleep. He insists you wake up though and so you do. You groggily sit at the table as he serves you food, but he’s unusually talkative. He won’t stop telling you all about how the hut has been since you left. How the chickens grew, Inanna might have found a wolf friend and it weirds him out, and he _finally_ found the toad that was making so much noise outside. He passes you more of the berries and it all just feels so wrong. You don’t know this place anymore.

“I have to go home now, Muriel,” you blurt out. He’s mid-sentence and you watch his face fall. Your heart reaches out to him but your brain slaps it down.

“This is home…” Muriel’s voice cracks.

“It was. For a really long time, and I loved it. I did. It just doesn’t feel like that. Not now that I know what happened here. Not after being gone for so long. You…you used your spell against me, Muriel.” 

“I’m sorry. I am. Please, you have to know that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I wanted what was best for you,” he’s quickly by your side and trying to hold you close.

“Muriel, you didn’t tell me what happened and then you made me forget it all. You betrayed everything. You didn’t trust me with Julian and especially with _us_.”

“I’m sorry,” you let him hold you and you feel a tear wet your neck right where he has his face buried into it.

“I know you are. And I am too. I need time and space and I don’t know what else Muriel. But I just can’t be with you now.” You gently push him away and he doesn’t rush towards you when you pull your cloak and shoes on. He sits and watches. You can see the tears stream down his cheeks and before you go, you stand in front of him.

“Please don’t go,” he holds your hand one last time and you cradle his head to your chest. He’s gasping for words and looks up at you. You lean over slightly, brushing long and tangled strands of hair from his forehead, and you kiss his forehead. You feel your eyes burn but you don’t let a tear come.

“Muriel, I can’t say that I forgive you. Not yet. I need time,” you pull away and as you turn your back to him he has the last words.

“I know. I’ll earn your trust. I promise I’m not going to run.”

* * * *

He gave you your space when you needed it and didn’t bother you very much. You just knew he was still guarding your house. When Asra did get back, he came with a bit more of a tan and the widest smile. He only faltered in his giddiness when you told him you knew everything. You told him to stop apologizing, that you knew he was in a tough spot between his two best friends.

He still cleaned the kitchen for a week and made you your favorite teas as an apology. He also made sure Muriel stopped coming by. You were going to miss your body guard, but you shoved that thought back into your subconscious.

You hung out with Asra and felt better. Did you feel whole? No. Not at all. But maybe more time?

* * * *

You go to the palace with Portia and Nadia for a few days. You study in the library and make Pepi chase a bell on a string.

You dress in finery and get very drunk on some recently imported wine. The three of you laugh along to a private comedy play in the palace ballroom. You can’t remember much of the night after that except the moment you dropped a half-eaten apple into a bowl of pudding. Portia knocking over a tray of tiny sandwiches and Nadia taking you both to your rooms. 

You stay longer and try to imagine what it must feel like to live here always. So far from the rest of the city, but if you walk to the top balcony, you can see the market, the streets of this city, and farther than that the tops of the trees of the forest. Somewhere in there is Muriel chopping wood and suddenly the palace isn’t all that far or all that big. You slump down and sit reading a spellbook.

* * * *

Weeks later, Asra was going to visit Muriel. He tried to be subtle, but it wasn’t so subtle when you found him filling a basket with bread, meat, and new lavender soap.

“How is he?”

“I’m not going to make you feel bad for him. He looks constantly tired, but he’s been getting better these last few times I’ve seen him around.”

You nod and slip a little charm you’d been working on into the basket. Asra still notices but doesn’t say a word. He’s keeping his comments to himself this time, but he walks a little happier out the door.

A few weeks after that, it’s nearly midnight when you walk out of the clinic alone. You lock it up behind you and nearly jump out of your skin when you hear Muriel’s “hello.”

“Oh! You gotta stop sneaking up on me like that,” you breathe out but can’t help the smile. He apologizes and starts walking with you. He doesn’t try holding your hand but he really wants to. He wanted to last time he walked with you like this, under the stars, a quiet night, and light fog. You know, just to make sure you were close and safe. You can feel him tense up every now as you talk about your day at the clinic. You shrug it off assuming he sees “bad” people in the shadows. 

When you get to the door of the shop you turn to say goodbye but he still looks very tense and flustered.

“Muriel? You alright?” He makes a panicked face but breathes in and out for a second.

“Iwantedtoknowifyouwantedtogetdinner,” his words run together and you stare blankly at him.

“I’m sorry… What?” He takes a deeper breath.

“Do you want to get dinner with me? We can bring Asra and Julian?” His bottom lip is caught between his teeth.

You consider it and wonder if you’re ready to sit with him and be comfortable and happy or to at least try it out. You think of all the time you’ve had to ponder this question. Your skin gets goosebumps when you remember that you woke up last night searching for him by your side. You were disappointed when he wasn’t there. You wind and unwind the string of your bag still not answering.

“You can say no. I’ll understand.”

“I want to. But just us. Just me and you,” you whisper to him, but you both hear the crash of a vase on the other side of your door. When you both step into the shop Asra sits at the table, obviously breathless, and reading a book.

“Are you okay?” Muriel asks him.

“Oh! You guys are back! How nice. I’m good,” he smiles politely and pretends to keep reading. You turn to say goodbye and pat Muriel’s arm. You promise to be ready for dinner the following night. Muriel actually grins and thanks you before he leaves.

You pick up a piece of glass and set it on the table next to Asra who is breathless still.

“I know you were listening at the door the whole time,” you smile.

“No! I just bumped the glass when I was walking by,” he feigns innocence.

“Next time, try not reading your book upside down,” you laugh and flip it up for him.

* * * *

You sit in the small market with Muriel. It’s one of those little shops in Vesuvia that doubles as a grocery store, but has a restaurant on the side. It cooks his favorite eel and you like their bread. It’s second to the baker’s. He seems nervous and then he reaches into his pocket pulling out forget-me-nots and daisies from his cloak. They’re slightly wilting and squished but perfect for sticking between the pages of your journal.

“I forgot to give them to you on the walk over,” he blushes but you thank him, taking them. You didn’t mind. The whole walk here you were distracted by him. His hair washed and pulled back with a braid again. It brought his face out more and his jawline was looking more defined. His green eyes also looked brighter and he actually kept meeting your gaze. Honestly, you just kept staring because you wanted to kiss him. Again you shove that thought down.

A waitress brings your orders. While you two eat, you do most of the talking. You don’t mind though because for the first time in a while Muriel’s silence isn’t uncomfortable. You know he’s listening and he smiles sometimes when you make a little joke. He tells you about the hens laying _another_ bunch of eggs and how they’re all trying to keep the eggs warm this winter.

“I’d love to see them!” You exclaim because you miss them all.

“You can always come over when you want,” he pats your knee but quickly takes his hand back. It takes some more talking and blushes and slight touches but under the table, you inch your hand closer to his and intertwine your fingers. He goes even redder, but he doesn’t hide his smile this time.

It’s really like time has gone back to when you two first started dating. The light touching and unsure hand holding taking you back to then. The comfortable lulls in conversation were welcomed but the moments he spoke were wonderful. You didn’t want the evening to end, not even when the candle at your table started to flicker out and the table next to you left.

“Thank you for tonight,” he still hasn’t let go of your hand and you feel so nervous. He walked you to the shop and now you two stand outside the door. You swear you can feel Asra’s aura right behind you. He’s definitely listening in.

“Thank you for being patient…for telling me everything and giving me space, the right way this time,” you remind him. You feel Muriel’s mood dampen and you immediately regret reminding him.

“I’m still sorry, but I hope you know. I’ll make it up to you,” he kisses the back of your hand and is setting to leave. You stop him and kiss his cheek. Neither of you really comments on it. You just watch as he makes his way home.

You like knowing he’s okay. You’re okay. One day you’ll be okay together.

Muriel can’t stop smiling his whole walk home and sends Inanna into a frenzy when he lifts her up easily. He does _not_ skip, but he does take wider steps home and slightly jumps over his threshold. He leans back on the fur bed and holds the one forget-me-not that stayed stuck to his cloak. He loves you. You know this. You know he’ll wait for you to feel it again because _this_ night, was just the start.


End file.
